How Thin Is The Line? By: Da1
I have heard the saying that, 'there's a thin line between love and hate' almost my whole life. There's a song and a movie that both bear the title. For as long as I can remember, the phrase has never sat well with me. I've always thought that if they are that close together, then I'm not sure if I want any parts of it (either love or hate). What I've experienced is that people actually live like it's true. I mean you can't help but notice the high rate of divorce in our society, or the high number of domestic violence cases, or the large volume of news stories of lovers killing each other (murder-suicide), that you might be lulled into thinking that the saying is true. However I've never been one to just accept the norm simply because it's the norm.
In my challenge against the grain of this world (and its occupants), I feel as though I've truly discovered the truth. Now having made that braggadocio statement, I have to qualify it by admitting my imperfection at being consistent in applying this newfound truth in my own life. Most of what causes this ever-thinning line of separation between two widely renowned opposites is selfishness (which leads to things like jealousy, anger, pride, envy, strife, discord, insecurity, competition and judgmentalism). The manipulation that we impose on one another and disguise as love is boundless.
We try to control every aspect of another humans life all in the name of love and then wonder why we have so many arguments, problems and issues. Instead of valuing and appreciating each other for the individuals that we were when we met (and were attracted too, I might add) we try to shape and mold each other into something that pleases us instead of our 'loved' (more liked coveted) ones! I know some might say that women are more guilty of this than men, but I differ only in that men and women have different instances of it. Attacking and attempting to eradicate jealousy from our lives can give each of us a good place to start in the reversal of the problem of selfishness. Having a selfless attitude is the goal, but first you have to embrace and admit your selfishness is the first step (sorry for the '12 Step' phraseology, but it could not be helped; there's no connection).
What's your opinion or belief... Is there a thin line between love and hate? Or is there an infinite gulf fixed between the two?
In my challenge against the grain of this world (and its occupants), I feel as though I've truly discovered the truth. Now having made that braggadocio statement, I have to qualify it by admitting my imperfection at being consistent in applying this newfound truth in my own life. Most of what causes this ever-thinning line of separation between two widely renowned opposites is selfishness (which leads to things like jealousy, anger, pride, envy, strife, discord, insecurity, competition and judgmentalism). The manipulation that we impose on one another and disguise as love is boundless.
We try to control every aspect of another humans life all in the name of love and then wonder why we have so many arguments, problems and issues. Instead of valuing and appreciating each other for the individuals that we were when we met (and were attracted too, I might add) we try to shape and mold each other into something that pleases us instead of our 'loved' (more liked coveted) ones! I know some might say that women are more guilty of this than men, but I differ only in that men and women have different instances of it. Attacking and attempting to eradicate jealousy from our lives can give each of us a good place to start in the reversal of the problem of selfishness. Having a selfless attitude is the goal, but first you have to embrace and admit your selfishness is the first step (sorry for the '12 Step' phraseology, but it could not be helped; there's no connection).
What's your opinion or belief... Is there a thin line between love and hate? Or is there an infinite gulf fixed between the two?
posted by Found at 7:51 AM
9 Comments:
Like most emotions I think love and hate are over rated. There are so many other emotions to deal with before those can be approached. Love and hate are emotions for mature adults or naive children and none of us are either of those for very long.
I think we should start from a point of mutuality, mutual respect and tolerance that is, and move from that point.
On the one hand Jewel, I hear ya'... but on the other I'm thinking love is a lot more functional and obtainable. That being said love can also be very elusive if you merely consider it an emotion. I hope I'm not sounding bi-polar, but what I'm trying to get at is that, as simple of a concept that I consider love to be... love cannot be contained in such a limited box of definition as 'emotion'!
If love were merely an emotion, then I could not help but to agree about there being 'a thin line'. However when true love by definition is really a commitment then it could never be simply an emotion. If it were, then it (love) would be susceptible to the ups and downs of emotions. I guess that is why so many people subscribe to the 'thin line' theory. Just because I may fail at love (due to inconsistency)... 'Love never fails.'
Don't get me wrong, 'mutual respect and tolerance' are good to have established in a relationship, but those are items best used with strangers and associates.
I have never believed in that particular phrase. Both words are too powerful to sum up in such a way. Love and Hate first of all are two very opposite words. How then could there be a thin line between the two. If it were so easy to flip your love for someone to a hatred for that same individual then you have not truly learned to love. Love is unconditional it has no boundries. Love is not impatient or judgemental. Now there are instances were situations dont work marriages and relationships do end but, remember at one time you said you "LOVED" that person but, now since you broke up, you hate that so in so...or that "b". "That's not a thin line". You weren't truly in "LOVE". Love is forgiveness accepting a person with all their "STUFF".... no matter what you perservere in that love to keep it strong and growing. As far as your comment on the divorce rate, to me I feel that if you maintain the kindness and consideration that it took when dating your now partner and continue to show respect for that person at all times this would nuture the relationship. I believe then there would be less divorce. We tend to relax after some years have passed in our relationships and we take things for granted. When angered we say things we should'nt have. Have you ever heard a recording of yourself angry, just going off...well I have it was ugly I didnt like hearing myself like that and I change how I deal with people,especially my "LOVED ONES" First Corinthains Thirteen sums up the true meaning of what love should be. I'm still striving to reach that level wish me luck!
i think that it is transferrable. that is, i believe that our capacity to love is not truly based upon the person we've targeted, but upon the absence of a more convenient target. i know this truly contradicts all the romantic notions i.e. "i want someone to love me for me." but i think that's what happens. people talk as if some were made for each other or were brought together by heaven's mandate. but the reality seems to be that you run into another person and then you both begin to look for an excuse to love one another. the typical excuse is "i met this person and i wasn't loving someone else at the time." if the relationship gets unhealthy, people start to say "i left him or her because i needed to love myself first." so, je or she has just tranferred the love.
i also believe that love is the sole source of every other emotion, including hate. it's your love for yourself, your lover, your friend, your materials, or your family that makes you despise others. it's when something you love is threatened. when martin lawrence pisses old girl off in the movie "thin line betweeen...", she's expressing that hatred drawn from her love of her self. she's like "Nemo me impune lacessit" or "he harmed me and there's hell to pay for that offense."
Of course the subject of love has caused much confusion historically, however I think the source of that confusion lies in our selfishness. A few comments ago it was said that, '...love is the sole source of every other emotion, including hate.' That statement actually helps to prove that there are differing types of love out here. There's the love that is defined by tireless and selfless sacrifice, but then there's another love that is ruled by pride and love of self.
It's the epitome of self love when a person allows it to drive them to want to harm, mame, kill or just wish their lover one of the above. It's so easy to do for others when we expect something in return, however true love has no such limitations. A lot of us falsely believe that we don't expect anything in return when we do for our lovers, but if that were true then we would not get so mad when they don't (do whatever we actually expected). If love leads to hate then, I can only say that we are a very confused bunch. Let's make love something attractive and not repulsive. That's how stalkers are born. Let's begin breeding saints or true humanitarians. It is possible... right? Or are we just too far gone?
I also think another element is that people don't really want to be loved. I hear people say all the time, 'I'm no charity case!' but is not charity a synonym for love? Don't they mean the same thing? What is it about someone doing for you when you have nothing to offer back, that is so hard to accept or receive. It really reveals that you have no capacity to give or that you have come into contact with so many others who always expect compensation for the things they do. There's no such thing as a free lunch right?
Happy Birthday Nephew!
Thank you my favorite Aunt. I love you!
I think there is a thin line between love and hate. What greater choice coupled with emotion do we experience i.e. love and hate. I have learned through your writings that love is a choice and I feel hate is one too.
Interesting, as it offered much of the ideology I have been thinking and speaking about for quite sometime, in terms of most peoples' assertion of having NO control over their emotions. A terribly juvenile assertion, often used as justification for behavior/s that they are simply un-willing to take responsibility.
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